Contrary to the denials of most modern-day governments, the Junta Virus exists, though it may be impossible to quantify the number of infected. The most common symptoms of infection are a sharp decline in a person’s faith in democracy, and a noticeable increase in one’s respect for military authority.
The virus’s existence first became public knowledge in 1947, shortly after the now-legendary battle between the supervillian known as General Nefarion, and the costumed vigilantes, The Human Fist, Commander Freedom, and the Commander’s ill-fated sidekick, Sergeant Stripes. General Nefarion had planned to unleash the Junta Virus upon Washington D.C. by means of a specially engineered V2 rocket. This rocket was designed to explode above its target area and deliver its payload in aerosolized form.
At the cost of his own, life Sergeant Stripes was able to redirect the rocket, causing it to instead explode in mid-atmosphere above South America, where the damage from its payload was considerably lessened. Reports that Commander Freedom had been exposed to the virus are generally considered erroneous, despite his documented actions in Nigeria and Thailand in his later years. The Human Fist has never spoken publicly about the events of that day, as is typical of him.
Approximately one year ago, the Agency began an official study on the risks of human-to-human transmission for the known strains of Junta. This study was canceled before it’s completion by order of the Department of Defense.
The other day when I was tired, I made something of Freudian slip and I typed “google.gov” into the web search box. That led to this little train of thought. So, in light of our federal government’s impending collapse here in the U.S.A. (thanks Tea Party!), let’s take a look at some of the possible dot-gov’s in the coming Dystopian Age we’re creating.
This is what happens when I haven’t blogged in weeks and I start writing around midnight after not getting enough sleep the night before. Happy Wednesday!
Following the dissolution of Congress, Google quickly declared both its independence as a sovereign nation and its intended “annexation” of all recently disenfranchised U.S. states. Google’s Android Army™ swiftly overpowered all resistance in the northwest and spread their sphere of domination eastward. Within months, the Great Lakes territories and New England region had all been assimilated.
Citizens of the dot-Empire have the right to unlimited free information, but this comes at the cost of being legally required to view all advertisements directed at them. Wealthier citizens may of course pay a premium user tax to avoid this.
iChurch of the Holy Apple
Though the Siri mother-brain proved to be no match for the processing might of Google’s Cloud Collective, the iChurch was finally able to mount a successful defense with the placement of the iPlasma Cannon into orbit above the contested territories. The Droid Army’s relentless advance was halted, and the Holy Council of Geniuses took advantage of the respite to establish the Doctrine of St. Steven as divine mandate among its citizens.
Though their graphical presentations may be nothing short of miraculous, outsiders often question the iChurch’s draconian policies towards non-Apple technologies. Some have even gone so far as to claim that adherents to the Faith have in fact had their minds enslaved by the “Jobs Virus”. Proof of the virus’s existence, however, has eluded the iChurch’s critics to this day.
The Microsoft Nation in Exile
During the iChurch’s five-year Purity Crusade to rid its borders of all Windows users , attempts were made by Microsoft devotees to organize a resistance. Unfortunately these resistance groups lacked organization and cohesive leadership. Entire resistance cells would often shut down operations for no apparent reason, only to slowly start up again in the same area. Ultimately, the Purity Crusade was quite successful.
Today, the few remaining Windows users, many of them refugees from Apple’s purges, live on reservations generously granted to them by wealthy Google Empire citizens. When leaving the reservation, these pitiable souls are required to identify themselves at all times by means of a Windows symbol pinned to their clothing in a conspicuous location.
China is still China.
It’s that time of year again, between the New Year and the Day of Atonement when we Jews are supposed to make apologies and pay our karmic debts. I owe a karmic debt of sorts to the subject of this post, which I’m attempting to pay by helping to promote his work.
I’ve written before about how I rely on music for creative inspiration. In fact, I initially described my current novel project in terms of the music that helped my brain give formulate the original ideas and characters. My musically fueled daydreams have always been an integral part of my creative process. And I’m willing to bet that they’re also an important part of the creative process for at least a few of you reading this. Possibly more important than you even realized.
Which is why you should go right now to the Bandcamp webpage for Maximalism, and immediately download his recently released “Soundtrack for a Greater Adventure”. It’s available for the low, low price of Pay What You Want. Also available at the same site are his “Soundtrack for a Great Adventure” (just as excellent as Greater Adventure in my opinion), and “Soundtrack for a Brief Adventure” (nearly as good as the other two, but shorter).
If for some reason Pay What You Want (for which $0 is a perfectly acceptable sum to want) seems too steep, you can also listen to these and other albums by Maximalism for free by streaming them at the site I just linked to.
These all-instrumental Soundtracks have been great for keeping my head abuzz with fresh new ideas ever since I discovered the original Great Adventure album last year. These tracks are also great for adding that epic feel to mundane tasks like your lengthy commute to work, or folding laundry. (I find laundry often tends to suffer from a lack of epic-ness.)
And if instrumental soundtracks to adventures that haven’t been written yet aren’t your thing, maybe some of the other musical work by Maximalism, real name Brad Podray, is more to your taste. His non-adventure work features some guests vocalists. If you check out Brad’s main webpage, you’ll see he’s got quite a diverse array of musical projects in his portfolio, including, not kidding here, a pirate-themed rap group.
So have a listen, and if you like what you hear, spread the word. It’s pretty much what independent artists depend on.